i found out that my grandma in china died this morning and i always find it so hard to console my parents when they need it. i never know the right thing to say or do to make them feel any better, and i can't stand seeing my mum upset. it's the worst feeling.
she was the last of my grandparents to pass, and it's almost as if it marks the next generation of death to sweep. this idea has been haunting me and i feel as if i am more upset about that than anything.
i wasn't as close to my grandma in china as i was to my grandma in australia so i don't feel as distraught as i did when my nana died a couple of years ago. and for some strange reason, i almost feel guilty for not.
my mum's flying out tomorrow and i have a feeling next week is going to be very weird.
this is the fifth death that i know of that has happened in the past three days and i'm feeling so shocked by life at the moment.
urgh. too heavy.
here is the best message i have gotten all day:
"holy shit the sketchiest dude just came in. he came behind the counter and then asked me where people get changed in the store. and then he asked me if i could measure him and he started taking his clothes off. wtf."
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