nietzche once said..

"what doesn't kill you makes you stronger."

but he's dead so wut.

escapism.

i've started watching the entire oc again.
a sign that nothing in my life is going all that great right now.

drooby

for those who are friends and acquaintances of drooby and have still not heard or were wanting an update on his situation, i'll lay it out for you.

last saturday night he, and some friends, broke into a public pool. drooby dived in without realising how shallow it was and broke a few bones in his back and completely messed with his spinal cord. he also took in alot of water and as the result of that, has pneumonia.

he is currently at the prince of wales hospital in randwick, and the last time i saw him (tuesday i think?) he was still in the intensive care unit. he went under the knife where they took out the broken shards of bone in his back and grafted some bone from his hip into his neck, also putting a metal bar in his neck to allow for support. when i went to see him, he was awake and had just had the tubes pulled out of his face, which he was very happy about. he showed me he could move his arms and said he could slightly feel movement in his legs which is an amazingly optimistic sign just two days after an accident like that! he looks hopeful, and i think that if you know him, you'd know that if anyone could work themselves out of this, it would be drooby.

he is doing physio to treat the pneumonia and is to be out of ICU when that happens (he may have already been moved to his own private room) so i suggest that if you have the time, go and visit him! take photos or cards or letters or anything that just shows that you love him.

if you have any questions, let me know.

closed hands, open arms, hold nothing.

i can always tell when i'm not wanted, and i'm starting to feel it with you. i guess i'm just a little surprised because i haven't reached that stage yet, and i almost feel like i'm being left behind, or i'm in the way or intruding in your life. i know that at some stage i was prominent in your day-to-day but now i feel like i'm not necessary anymore.
it sounds sad, i guess it is for the most part, but i've surprised myself lately at how strong i've gotten, mentally, over these past couple of months.
strong or closed-hearted: debatable.

all this late-night overthought nonsense put aside, i'm excited for you. i've seen change- however slight, and strength - however subtle, and you know (constantly) that i am and always will be here for you.

eastern glow

i feel happy today, almost as if i've found a little drive in my life.
i'd like to get used to this mentality.

meatfest 09

met up with kate and lecricia and we went to exquisite corpse at oxford art factory tonight.
the theme was 'metal' with nigga faggot jesus band, chemical deth and our all time favourite taipan playing. would've enjoyed the night if it weren't for the following:
- meat all over the floor
- pig hooves being thrown around (hitting lecricia in the head)
- a real-looking fake exorcism happening throughout the night
- gory-as-fuck footage of shit being projected on the feature wall (war prisoners being shot in the face, guy-on-guy porn, asian gore cannabilist movies etc)

had to go to the bathroom a couple of times, thinking i was going to be sick.

the exorcism wasnt so bad, it kept my attention away from the flying meat, and it was fun trying to decide whether or not it was legit.

all in all, it was like attending a regular devil-worship cult meeting.
the police stopped in to see what the fuck was going on, and their faces said it all.
"what the fuck is wrong with these kids"


or maybe i'm just not metal enough.
{here's a little summat summat i made for fraser.}

an itch i can't scratch (note: possible melanoma?)

i need colour in my life!
somebody teach me to use colour!